E R I K V I D A L

A Little Wine at 29

Although I didn't care to do anything save stay in and work during my actual birthday eight days ago, I did manage to get out for a bit last Saturday, this for a wonderful food and wine tasting at Marseille (well, to be honest, very little of the former, and quite a bit of the latter...). Sterling (aka Rock Star Sterling), a friend from quite a while back, is the current somelier at Marseille (not to mention the host of the soon-to-be-released "Wine for Dummies" DVD!), and made the recommendations for the evening. And while we didn't spring for the Pennfolds Grange (my usual "indulgence red"), the Chateauneuf-Du-Pape was really quite extraordinary... (Photos by our ever ubiquitous photographer Sean Hastings)

World-Building: The Photography of GREGORY CREWDSON

The haunting, filmic, and magnificent photography of Gregory Crewdson, from his series "Beneath the Roses", now showing at Luhring Augustine, 521 W 24th Str and 10th Ave. The man manages to build more narrative into a single frame frozen in time than most directors do over the course of a two hour motion picture. Not to be missed.

(Also of interest and currently showing: see Larry Clark's (director of "Kids" and "Gummo") photography at the International Center of Photography, 1133 6th Ave and 43rd Str; as well as "Japan's Exploding Subculture" at the Japan Society, 333 E 47th Str and 2nd Ave.)

I am 29. The "Life: To Do" list.

I am now 29.

My "Life: To Do" list, written nearly two-and-a-half years ago, over a bottle of wine with Denise in the East Village.

Erik's To Do 11 / 27 / 02

-- Finish first and second book

-- Feature film

-- Plant tree

-- Visit outer space

-- Hamlet (on Broadway?)

-- Fall in love

-- Skydiving

-- Put on rockin' concert

-- Build rose building at Iguazu falls

-- Meet all 3 guides

-- Teach someone something new

-- Produce musical album

-- Learn guitar (finally)

-- Distance healing

-- Back to Japan

-- Learn to ride Uni-cycle (!)

Looking back over the past 30 months, of all of the above, I imagine it would be fair to say that I've accomplished--experienced, really--exactly one of these dreams: "Hamlet". (And not on Broadway, mind you, as perhaps might have been intended, but in the West Village, and not as the Dane, alas, as was most definitely intended, but as Polonius and Osric; nonetheless, the experience did happen, and technically, I imagine, fulfills the obligation, so I shall go ahead and count it accordingly...)

And where I have one item checked off, I add another to take its place: "Learn to surf".

Life. Life.

Time to move. This year: the feature film.

Full re-assessment tomorrow...

"Difficult Times Lie Ahead Harry..."

Now how many of you, like myself, when looking at that caption, had the most irresistible urge to swap out Harry’s name with your own? Try it now, and read it aloud.

Uh huh.

So the news is in: Ralph Fiennes—one of this generation’s most exceptional actors (Jeremy Irons being the other one; and perhaps, then, we should pray that the two just might make a movie together one day…)—will, indeed, be playing the role of Voldemort in the upcoming “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire”.

Now, I know what you’re all thinking (aside from the fact that, like the rest of us, you’d heard the rumors that the part had gone to Malkovich months ago, and yes, dear ones, that would have been something…), you’re thinking: “Oh Overground Man, now how can this be? I’ve read all five ‘Harry Potter’ books, and Voldemort doesn’t snatch anyone’s wife in a single one. Not a one!”—and indeed, I must agree, it is a bit of a change of pace for the man that seems to be able to seduce women away from their men in about two seconds flat, with that “I-am-Ralph-Fiennes-and-I-SMOLDER-with-an-unbridled-and-undying-passion-for-you-(one-you-and-I-both-know-is-a-love-far-greater-than-your-husband-could-ever-even-hope-to-conceive-of-)so-come-to-me-NOW-and-I-shall-have-you” thing that he does oh-so-well…

I mean, take a look at the guy’s scorecard:

The End of the Affair: successful wife snatch, Julianne Moore from Stephen Rea;

Onegin: attempted wife snatch, Liv Tyler from Matin Donovan, unsuccessful;

Sunshine: DOUBLE successful wife snatch (!!), Rachel Weisz from Mark Strong (his brother no less—for shame…), AND Deborah Kara Unger from her unknown, off-screen husband;

The English Patient: successful wife snatch, Kristin Scott Thomas from Colin Firth (though, to be fair, I think Firth has a wife or girlfriend snatched from him in pretty much every movie he’s in…);

Strange Days: attempted girlfriend snatch, Julianne Moore from Michael Wincott, unsuccessful (but an "A" for effort, surely...).

So yes, the man gets around. But, to be fair, he does seem to have a taken a different sort of turn as of late—here, the mentally ill boarder in Cronenberg’s “Spider” comes to mind, though surely the movie itself is far too broody, subtle, and contemplative for its own good, with Fiennes delivering something of a nuanced performance—and, yes, he certainly knows how to play EVIL (Amon Goethe in Spielberg’s “Schindler’s List”, which he should have gotten the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for, though honestly I couldn’t then, and I can’t now, imagine any Academy votes going to a role as twisted and horrifying as that); so all-in-all, I suppose it’s fair to say I’m fairly eager to see what he does with the character of He Who Must Not Be Named... (And let us forget “The Avengers” entirely, shall we?)

And as far as the whole “Harry Potter” phenom goes: now, I’ll be the first to admit, I would have never, ever dreamt of going near these tomes, had Heather, at the outset of our relationship, not insisted (and quite zealously, at that), that I absolutely HAD to read these things, and without delay. I could cruise through all five in less than a week, she said—and THUMP!, there the books were. Easy, compulsive reads, she said. Unable to put down once picked up. And yes, my darlings, here I confess: she was right. They were easy, compulsive, unable-to-put-down reads (sort of the literary equivalent to Pringles, I think), and I did cruise through all five in about a week. And yes, they really were that good.

So ladies and gentlemen, if you haven’t read these books by now, the only question I have is: what, have you spent the past several years living under an iceberg…? Go read them. Now. Off you go then.

Back?

What’d ya think?

And finally, to wet your appetite for "Goblet" just a bit more, the teaser trailer for "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" can be seen here: "Goblet of Fire" teaser

A NINJA PAYS HALF MY RENT

Finally, the perfect roommate--he's neat, he's quiet, and he can kill someone with his bare hands.

"Me, you, and the ninja--we gotta go out some time, get some beers, drink 'em down!"

Click here to view the Sundance Film Festival short film: A Ninja Pays Half My Rent
(Windows Media Player required)

Also, for those of you who just can't stop thinking about ninjas, I give you: Real Ultimate Power
And for those who simply need their Ninja everything, we have: The Ninja Store

HARLAN ELLISON: The 3 Most Important Things in Life

I saw Harlan Ellison speak at the first annual Creative Screenwriting conference in LA a few years back: truly, one of the most engaging "lecturers" I've ever had the privilege of being inspired by (if the phrase is germane, here--those of you who've met the man will doubtless know what I'm talking about; though of course, I'll go ahead and qualify that one by saying: I can't help but feel that the guy, were anyone to ever actually muster the courage to thank him in such a manner to his face, would not only bark out a long, wild cackle, one echoing out to the horizon, stirring up the pigeons and everything, but then, would almost certainly turn back around, put his hand on your shoulder, look deep into your eyes for several long moments, and then, finally, weep great, round tears of pity, uttering, "Oh, oh you poor, sad, misguided soul..." And that, really, would be that--but, I digress...)

The man can write. If you haven't read his remarkable Hugo award-winning short story "I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream", I highly recommend that you do so. Immediately. (And the obvious question: who owns the movie rights to this one?) I've been going back through a lot of his short fiction as of late (see "Slippage", "Angry Candy", and "Troublemakers", under my "Now Reading" list at right), and though his shorts are, indeed, often a very hit-or-miss affair, the writing itself has so much energy in it--so much pent-up frustration, enthusiasm, glee, all of it--that you almost don't mind when the stories themselves, at times, don't quite realize, in their pay-offs, what he sets up for them in their openings. It's sort of like a really great friend who tells the most hilarious jokes: the punch lines are only funny half the time, but the TELLING of the jokes, that, really, is where the joy is...

So yes, indeed, a little taste then perhaps? Though Harlan's something of a nut when it comes to people ripping off his material on the net (he's single-handedly fighting the 800 pound gorilla that is AOL/Time Warner right now, over this very issue), I did find one rather marvellous piece which he's opted to (and quite fittingly, I might add) release into the public domain, this being: "The 3 Most Important Things In Life".

I know that most of you (which is to say, the two or three of you that actually come to this site) are here for the quick hit (no doubt, I imagine this is what we're all pursuing, these days), and hence, probably just aren't all that into reading these longer pieces, but really, for this one--trust me. I shan't give anything away: just sit back, kick back, take a deep breath, put the phone on hold for ten minutes, and go through the entire piece--it's very, very much worth it.

And now, without further ado: Harlan Ellison’s “The 3 Most Important Things in Life”

The Kitten Canon

For those of you that enjoyed Penguin Baseball, I give unto you: The Kitten Cannon

(Here, aim the cannon by using the up/down cursor keys, fire by pressing the space bar, and the rest, as you'll soon see, is entirely up to gravity... My current high score: 2,380.)

PO BRONSON: Why Do I Love These People?

Po Bronson came to New Orleans for several days in 2001 to interview me for a book he was working on called "What Should I Do With My Life?" Several years, one Oprah appearance, and one bestseller later, and it looks as if his follow-up, "Why Do I Love These People?" (previously entitled "How Do I Deal With My Family?", and "When Do We Get There?"), is finally coming to fruition.

This book will challenge you, if you're convinced you're too selfish to raise children. It will challenge you if you think having good friends is enough. Or if you think you just weren't given "the family gene." It will challenge you if you're trying to use your career to fill that hole. It will test you, if you're sure you can never forgive her for how she treated you, or can't forgive him for what he did. It will alter your definition of family - not the political definition, but the definition that resides in your soul, put there by experience, cemented by repetition.

It will help you if you're looking for strength. It will help you if your family disapproves, or if you and your spouse have brought very different family styles into your marriage. It will help you if you're trying to regain a love for your parents that frustration wore away. It will help if you're simply baffled how to do it all - how to hold down a job and raise your children and still love your spouse, who is no longer an escape from these burdens, but rather a constant reminder of them. It will help if you're trying not to hurt someone you love ( just to let them really know how badly you were hurt by them). It will help if you never had a father, or a mother, or feel like you never really did. It will help if you're in a situation you never thought you'd be in. My god, aren't we all?

More to be found at PoBronson.com

This Blast from the Past

Photo albums have been added. Enjoy.