E R I K V I D A L

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PATHWORK LECTURE: The Forces of Love, Sex, and Eros

A brilliant Pathwork lecture on the nature of love, eros, and sex (the Pathwork being the spiritual school that I am currently involved in at this time).

The lecture in its entirety is available here: "The Forces of Love, Eros, and Sex"

More information on the Pathwork can be found at the official site: The Pathwork

And in lecture format here: "What is the Path?"

A brief selection follows.

Another frequent combination, particularly in relationships of long standing, is the coexistence of genuine love with sex, but without eros. Although love cannot be perfect unless all three forces blend together, there is a certain amount of affection, companionship, fondness, mutual respect, and a sex-relationship that is crudely sexual without the erotic spark which evaporated some time ago. When eros is missing, the sexual relationship must eventually suffer. Now this is the problem with most marriages, my friends. There is hardly a human being who is not puzzled by the question of what to do to maintain the spark in the relationship which seems to evaporate the more habit and familiarity with one another sets in. You may not have posed the question in terms of three distinct forces, yet you know and sense that something goes out of a marriage that was present at the beginning; that spark is actually eros. You find yourself in a vicious circle and think that marriage is a hopeless proposition. No, my friends, it is not, even if you cannot as yet attain the ideal.

In the ideal partnership of love between two people all three forces have to be represented. With love you do not seem to have much difficulty, for in most cases one would not marry if there did not exist at least the willingness to love. I will not discuss at this point the extreme cases where this is not so. I am focusing on a relationship where the choice is a mature one and yet the partners cannot get around the pitfall of becoming bound by time and habit, because elusive eros has disappeared. With sex it is very much the same. The sex force is present in most healthy human beings and may only begin to fade -- particularly with women -- when eros has left. Men may then seek eros else-where. For the sexual relationship must eventually suffer unless eros is maintained.

How can you keep eros? That is the big question, my dear ones. Eros can be maintained only if it is used as a bridge to true partnership in love in the highest sense. How is this done? Let us first look for the main element in the erotic force. When you analyze it, you will find that it is the adventure, the search for the knowledge of the other soul. This desire lives in every created spirit. The inherent life-force must finally bring the entity out of its separation. Eros strengthens the curiosity to know the other being. As long as there is something new to find in the other soul and as long as you reveal yourself, eros will live. The moment you believe you have found all there is to find, and have revealed all there is to reveal, eros will leave. It is as simple as that with eros. But where your great error comes in is that you believe there is a limit to the revealing of any soul, yours or another's. When a certain point of usually quite superficial revelation is reached, you are under the impression that this is all there is, and you settle down to a placid life without further searching.

Eros has carried you this far with its strong impact. But after this point, your will to further search the unlimited depths of the other person and voluntarily reveal and share your own inward search determines whether you have used eros as a bridge to love. This, in turn, is always determined by your will to learn how to love. Only in this way will you maintain the spark of eros in your love. Only in this way will you continue to find the other and let yourself be found. There is no limit, for the soul is endless and eternal: a whole lifetime would not suffice to know it. There can never be a point when you know the other soul entirely, nor when you are known entirely. The soul is alive, and nothing that is alive remains static. It has the capacity to reveal even deeper layers that already exist. The soul is also in constant change and movement as anything spiritual is by its very nature. Spirit means life and life means change. Since soul is spirit, the soul can never be known utterly. If people had the wisdom, they would realize that and make of marriage the marvelous journey of adventure it is supposed to be, forever finding new vistas, instead of simply being carried as far as you are taken by the first momentum of eros. You should use this potent momentum of eros as the initial thrust it is, and then find through it the urge to go on further under your own steam. Then you will have brought eros into true love in marriage.

How to Have Energy Orgasms

And speaking of "that which emanates from the first chakra" (see "'Rize' screening at the Tribeca Film Festival", below), came across this the other day, and found myself more than a bit intrigued... Naturally, at first it was, "Eh? Who? Wha? Huh? 'Energy Orgasms'?! Pshaw, indeed!"; but then, I must admit, I did start to wonder...

Poll time everyone: raise your hands: exactly how many of you, out there, can claim to have had an experience like this? (And further, with someone else?) Article below...

"How to Have Energy Orgasms" By Annie Sprinkle, with Jwala

Why have energy orgasms?

Energy orgasms will clear the body of repressed emotions, old hurts, and blocks. They put a bounce in your step. Energy orgasms help pre-orgasmic women to become genitally orgasmic and help genitally orgasmic women to become much more multi-orgasmic ("megagasmic"), plus they make partner sex more ecstatic and fulfilling. It's safe sex, a good substitute for harmful addictions, and a great party trick! Energy orgasms can be an extremely spiritual experience, giving you a sense of the forces of creation rushing through you, a sense of going beyond the body/mind, reminding you who you are beyond your everyday reality.

What does an energy orgasm feel like?

Incredible! Some are very strong, and some are wonderfully subtle. Generally, the more time you put into building up the energy, the more powerful the sensations. You'll experience "electricity" shooting through your entire body, hands and lips tingle, and there is a sense of release and receiving at the same time. You will feel high, euphoric and light-headed. It feels very different than a clitoral orgasm (but it can occur simultaneously with a clitoral orgasm). It may feel very sexual or it may not. There are many variations of energy orgasms, just as there are many variations of orgasms.

HOW TO HAVE AN ENERGY ORGASM

1. Lay down on a firm surface, i.e. hard bed, carpet, sandy beach, grass. Bend your knees up. (You can also try it standing or sitting.)

2. Take a few relaxing breaths. Empty your mind. Let go of tension. Let go of ego. Settle in.

3. Begin to take deeper breaths. Inhale through the nose and exhale through the mouth like you are blowing out birthday candles. Make it completely "circular" with no pauses between inhales and exhales.

4. On the inhale, rock your pelvis, arching your lower back and flattening on the exhale. Squeeze the pubococcygeus muscles (the muscles you squeeze to stop the flow of urine) on the exhale. These squeezes can actually stimulate the clitoris and G-spot, penis and testicles, while pumping up energy throughout your entire body. In other words, inhale while filling your belly like a balloon, exhale and flatten your back while contracting the PC muscles. Repeat continuously. Your legs may open and close like butterfly wings. Let the breathing and contractions be erotic.

5. Energy follows thought, so use your mind to begin to pull in energy from the earth/atmosphere into the perineum. Build fire in the sex center (1st and 2nd chakras). Circulate the energy back and forth. When this area is well "lit," go up to the belly area and start circulating from the genital area to the belly, around and around (2nd and 3rd chakras). Circulate until the fire is burning stronger.

6. Go to the next level - the heart. Circulate from belly to heart, belly to heart (3rd and 4th chakras).

7. Now try the throat. Circulate from heart to throat, heart to throat (4th and 5th chakras). When the energy moves up, you may automatically make some sounds. If not, you can consciously make sounds, as this helps to open the throat for the energy to move up. Keep circulating between the heart and throat, until you feel the energy move up to the Third Eye.

8. Circulate the energy from throat to Third Eye, throat to Third Eye (5th and 6th chakras).

9. Circulate from the Third Eye to the top of your head (7th chakra). At a certain point it may feel like the energy is shooting out the top of your head, like water out of a hose. Soon, you will kick into full body orgasm. Go with it. Your breathing patterns will change. You may scream, you may "melt," you may laugh hysterically, you may feel your back arch and your fists may clench. With practice you can learn to ride the waves and keep the orgasms going for a very long time.

Yeah, Ok, NOW I'm curious...